Accident-Gortesk
Do you frequently make typos? Are your fingers fat? Then this is the solution to all your problems. It's a typeface that creates typos—meaning you can always blame someone else if your text has a typo. That someone being me.
I have been searching the internet and I am suprised I haven't found this idea made already. Akzidenz-Grotesk is such a classic typeface, but the name always makes me think of the word "accident". Pair that with the world of mobile messaging where typos and "fat-fingering" is prevalent and it feels like a match made in heaven.
How it works
When you type normally, the font silently swaps words using the OpenType calt (contextual alternates) feature, which is enabled by default in virtually all applications. The substitutions are invisible at the glyph level — there are no new glyphs, just rules that swap individual characters when surrounded by the right context.
For example, when the font encounters the glyph sequence d-u-c-k, it substitutes the d with f, rendering fuck instead. The user typed duck.
110 swap rules across five categories, each with lowercase, Title Case, and UPPER CASE variants (330 rules total):
- Embarrassing — duck → fuck, cook → cock, election → erection
- Common mix-ups — their → there, affect → effect, angel → angle
- Fat-finger adjacency — hello → jello, good → food, love → live
- Autocorrect-style — coming → cuming, regards → retards, morning → moaning
- Garbled typos — the → teh, because → becuase, would → woudl
Try it
Download the font and install it — then type normally and watch the chaos unfold.